It is an unusual human being who has not experienced feelings of abandonment or betrayal in their lifetime. When these misfortunes occur we normally look for the life lesson in them. Too often we believe the lesson is that love never works, or perhaps we decide we are fundamentally unlovable.
If this is true for you, you need to read my new book: How To Believe In Love Again. Here’s an excerpt from the chapter: “Why I wrote this book”:
“It is essential that each of us revisit our abandonment or betrayal stories, and especially the lessons we think we have learned from them. How has your perception of that story changed over the years? How about the deep and abiding shame you may feel from previous breakups? Has your self-concept changed since then? Do you need a reality check? Does that old rejection hold far more power than it should in your present world?
Recent brain research shows that we remember most clearly those things we experienced while we were in the midst of strong emotions. Difficult life experiences may stick with us for decades, often holding more power than they deserve, especially when they have caused severe psychic trauma.
It is only through a careful reassessment of these experiences and then a little patient, careful “soul surgery” that we may regain our original belief in the power of love to improve our lives and our right to receive it.
This book is designed to help you become a private detective in service to your own self-awareness and self-development. If you wish to gather a deeper understanding of why you fear love so much, and then search out those experiences in your past that have kept you stuck in your old ways of perceiving love, this book can help. Together we will explore those negative love experiences from your past where you lost your trust of others—those bad times that now sabotage your present faith that you might ever find love again.
Only by first raising your awareness of sensitive areas around your own personal roadblocks — like shame, trust, and forgiveness—and then creating new ways to work through past emotional obstacles, is it possible to access a healthier belief in all that love might have to offer you now.”