After a tough break up, divorce or some other difficult crisis in your life, you are naturally more open to looking at what’s wrong; how your life may not be working out quite the way you had hoped.
This is the perfect time to spend time considering how you might approach your life differently. Is it time to change your view of yourself, and thus change how you are seen by others?
But how can you risk trusting anyone enough to get a truly outside perspective? Finding a therapist you instinctively like, trust and feel comfortable working with is a good start.
Looking back to my own life before counseling (BC), I clearly remember how I felt about myself. I struggled every day to maintain my armor of invulnerability. I didn’t want to truly need anyone because that had led to extra pain in my past. I didn’t trust others because I felt no one could possibly understand me and my problems.
I also maintained the defensive stance that I was smarter than everyone else. I lived in my head, denying a colossal case of fear. I denied most of my feelings and lived in a world of boundless insecurity. No wonder I did not attract those who were open to a relationship full of love and trust.
Building your first truly trusting relationship with a good therapist is sometimes called “re-parenting.” The best outcome from the right therapeutic relationship will help you see yourself in a new way. It will also show you how you appear to others.
Counseling may be the only way for you to learn how to trust others again. Think of it as your first step towards building a positive relationship with yourself first, and then with others. I offer personal counseling for those who are ready to see themselves and others in a new light, and begin to live a life full of love, trust, and self-compassion.
Don’t miss my new book: How To Believe In Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust, and Your Own Inner Wisdom, where I discuss the search for self-respect, self-forgiveness and trust in depth.