I was thinking yesterday, how egotistical it is to believe that I could meet someone today, who suddenly could not live without me. It does seem like magical thinking, doesn’t it? I mean, what are the chances? Perhaps that is why we lose our faith in love. It just seems so unrealistic!
I know at age 46, after grieving my divorce, and then experiencing a job loss a few years later, the thought of someone falling in love with me was far from my reality. Why would anyone be interested in me? How could magic happen again?
That is partially the reason why I started my own dating service. I wanted to research and study how love works, and why so many of us lose faith in it.
From interviewing lots of others in my age group, many fairly recent divorcees, I saw how this works. We marry the first time believing in love. That is the story our culture tells us, plus we so want to believe!
But then things don’t work out. Perhaps love turns to disillusionment. Perhaps our spouse is unfaithful, super critical, or just plain mean. We divorce and feel certain that love is just an illusion created by Hollywood to sell things. Plus by then we may not be quite as attractive as we used to be, and then there’s all of that baggage we bring along with us.
See how we lose faith and maybe any interest in love in midlife? GET REAL! Why would anyone be interested in me now?
These are the questions that crop up, and they must be answered BEFORE you will ever find love again. Is love worth fighting for? Are you willing to take risks at this late date or have you thrown in the towel? Can you see yourself in love again or does that seem like the impossible dream?
These are also the exact same reasons why love does feel so magical when it happens past age 35 or 40. It feels like winning the lottery only better because against what seems like incredible odds, someone HAS fallen in love with YOU! Someone who has decades of life experience and plenty of baggage of his own wants YOU in his life, to make both of your lives better.
It is such a lovely feeling! TRUST ME!