Dating Service Owner Ambushed by Love!

Nov 30, 2012 By Laura Lee Carter in Divorce and recovery, Divorce as positive personal growth, Falling in love, Finding love again, Finding love late in life, Fort Collins Author, getting past your past, How to believe in love again, How to find love again, Midlife love, Midlife relationships, Renewed faith in love, Self-respect and love, Stepping outside of your box, taking a risk for love 17 Comments Tags: Believe in love again, dating service love, finding love online, GenFab Blog Hop, how I found love at 49, love in your 40s

No one could have been more surprised than me, the day I met my new love Mike.

Sure, I had started my own local dating service six months before, after losing my job back in 2004. But I was also 49, divorced, and completely disillusioned with love.

Divorce can do that to you! But I found meeting so many very cool divorcees refreshing and encouraging. Perhaps there was still hope for us all.

As a dating coach and service owner, the first challenge I faced was having too many women to match with my male clients. Men can be quite shy about admitting they need help in meeting the right woman, but I can also be pretty stubborn when it come to business success. I felt determined to find some great love matches for my women clients!

I decided to solve my inventory problem by putting my own broadly-defined profile on Match.com. I thought I might attract a few new male clients, and then tell them about the many great women I had for them to meet. Could I entice more men to join my local service?

The first man to respond was called “Tall Guy” online. He was a stand out because of his ready responsiveness, his genuine interest, and BTW, he looked pretty cute to me!

The “Tall Guy” came over to meet me on a Saturday afternoon. Nosy me, I spied on him as he got out of his bright red pick-up, trying to decide whether to hide his big bouquet of flowers behind his back as he walked up to the door.

If you have ever had the supreme pleasure of experiencing love at first sight, then you know what happened next. Ten hours later we were still talking, laughing and feeling like heaven on earth! We both felt we had finally met someone we could naturally relate to on so many amazing levels.

I will never forget the euphoria of spending so much time with Mike in those first few months after we met! We had both waited a lifetime to feel this kind of cosmic connection.

We married exactly eight months later, and to this day we acknowledge exactly how fortunate we are to be living the lives of soul mates… I mean, what are the chances?

This post is by Laura Lee Carter, and is a part of the GENFAB Blog Hop of December 5, 2012. Click on the photos below to read more real-life love stories! They are all about finding love later!

Laura Lee is the author of How To Believe In Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust, and Your Own Inner Wisdom and Midlife Magic!

Will I die alone?

Jun 11, 2012 By Laura Lee Carter in Dealing with lost faith in love, Divorce and recovery, Finding love again, Finding love late in life, Fort Collins writer, love as your top priority, Midlife love, Renewed faith in love No Comments Tags: Believe in love again, confronting loneliness, dying to meet you, midlife loneliness, Will I die alone?

I have a 55 year-old single friend who acts as an excellent reminder to me of exactly how lonely life can be without a significant other.

How quickly we forget! You would think after my many years of singularity, I wouldn’t need any reminders, but apparently I do.

Yesterday my friend kept saying, “I wonder if I will die alone?”

I remember when I lived alone, the toughest part of each day was when I laid down to go to sleep. I don’t know why, but I would always wonder if I would be going to sleep alone for the rest of my life. And sleep is not so different than death in small ways.

I have been married for the past seven years, so I’ve had plenty of time to get used to fairly constant company.

My husband and I allow each other lots of space. We agree with one of my favorite quotes about marriage that says something like, the best you can do for someone you love is be “the custodian of their solitude.” But I now find it hard to even imagine him not being there most of the time. Especially in the evening for dinner and for intimate talks at the end of the day.

Yes, I can remember wondering if I would die alone. None of us know how or when we will die. My lonely friend had a heart attack a few years ago.

Marriage is no guarantee of anything. But the fact that my friend is thinking so much about love and death indicates to me that he needs to get serious about believing in love again.

Do the work you know you need to do, so you are ready to find love again. Time’s a wasting, so take the risk. Focus on what you really want this time.

I sincerely believe that someone is out there, just dying to meet YOU!

Believe and seek wisely. What you seek is seeking you. – Rumi

Have you lost your faith in love?

Feb 9, 2012 By midlifecrisisqueen in Dealing with lost faith in love, Divorce and recovery, Finding love again, Finding love late in life, getting past your past, How to find love again, Lost love, love as your top priority, Midlife love, Renewed faith in love, self-compassion and love, Self-respect and love No Comments Tags: Believe again!, Believe in love again, Blue Valentine, counseling psychology, inner wisdom, Valentine's Day disappointment

Valentine’s Day can be tough when you’re older, recently divorced or widowed, and wondering what’s next. I know I felt pretty certain my “love life” was over when I divorced at 46. Then I lost my job a few years later.

Going only on my crazy desire to try something completely different, I started my own dating service.

There I spent months learning from hundreds of singles what it feels like to know that you are too young to give up on love, but also afraid that you may be too disillusioned to ever believe in love again. What I discovered is that there are quite a few of us who have lost our faith in love, and that included me.

So I got busy and figured out how to change. With my natural stubborn streak and a solid background in counseling psychology, I used decades of personal experience with love and disappointment to turn my attitude around. I first began to fully value my mysterious intuitive personal guidance system, and stopped interrupting it with more “rational” assessments. I also acknowledged how important it was for me to forgive myself for everything in my past.

Slowly I created a formula which included finding compassion and self-respect for where I was at. Then I found some creative ways to love myself into believing in love again. I saw that I felt afraid of love for many good reasons, so I began searching out those experiences in my past that were keeping me stuck in my old way of thinking. I began to focus on my own unique shame and trust issues, and then slowly forgave myself for past mistakes, utilizing cathartic techniques to change my beliefs about what love might have to offer me now.

I knew I was on the right track when I met the love of my life a few months later! Eight months after that fateful meeting I married again for keeps, and six years after that I completed my book: How To Believe In Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust, and Your Own Inner Wisdom.

Pick it up when you are ready to acknowledge that you have lost your faith in love, and getting it back it your highest priority!