I was caught by surprise in my 49th year, when I met the love of my life. Out of the blue, he appeared. This confused me because I thought love could only occur through magic or some gigantic effort on my part. Instead, I met Mike through Match.com and we have been living happily ever after ever since. Very happy! We both regularly ask ourselves if we deserve such perfection in this obviously imperfect world, but there it is.
O.K., I know what you’re thinking: Nobody’s perfect! We must be temporarily stuck in the “honeymoon” stage. But no honeymoon could compare to finally meeting a man who takes the time to truly understand and appreciate me, exactly the way I am. I had a suspicion for years that I was a good person and that some man really should recognize this, but I never thought it would happen in this lifetime. And then, sometimes he loves me more than I love myself. Life is like that sometimes, so confusing. But this time at least it’s in a good way!
In early 2004, after losing my job, I was a mystified divorcee, wondering how I would ever meet interesting, available men in my area and, more importantly, wondering if I still believed in love.
I decided to open my own version of a “dating service,” because I didn’t like my other options. I wanted something more humane and personal than Match.com. I thought I might assist others with the same dilemma, while learning more about the local singles scene.
The service I offered was uniquely personal because I spent hours interviewing every client, trying to know them well enough to really understand their needs. I realized slowly that my dating service was actually a challenge to myself.
The people I met through my business helped me believe again. I saw there are so many interesting, attractive, decent people looking for love later in life through no fault of their own. I even had a few success stories as a professional matchmaker, but did not meet anyone special for me.
After a few months, I decided to join Match.com in spite of the fact they were my competition. I certainly had my doubts about online dating, but I didn’t know where else to turn. It seemed hopeless and I was ready to give up, when I received an interesting wink from Mike. He was wonderfully responsive by e-mail and awfully nice on the phone, so I invited him to lunch.
As he walked up to my door, I watched him from behind my curtain, trying to decide whether to hide his big bouquet of flowers behind his back. I was touched. With a great smile, he introduced himself. His moniker on Match.com was “Tall Guy”, and boy was he right about that! Lanky and lean in a very sexy way, I fell into his greenish gray eyes immediately, and thought I would never get out! I simply could not resist telling him how beautiful they were within minutes.
We discovered we had so much in common as we spoke. We both had spent years living in Asia, him in the Navy, me as a China specialist. The conversation moved in a smooth, natural way. Within an hour I felt comfortable enough to reveal my practical side by saying, “You know, I’m very good with money.” And he responded, “So am I!” We both felt we had met someone very special that day.
Our first conversation lasted ten hours. And yes, every moment of it was magic! Now, six years later, we both hope this synchronicity of mind, body and spirit never ends. We married eight months to the day after we met, convinced that soul mates do exist.
My sage counsel to you, from the older woman with much experience in love: If you feel you need to seek advice from self-help books to decide if he’s the one, he’s not. Your heart and gut should tell you everything you need to know. Listen carefully to the message from within, and enjoy love completely when it finally arrives!