Here we have the crux of the matter! I’m afraid most of us don’t even think we can change, but I’m here to tell you it is completely possible to change your mind and then change your life. I have done it a number of times.
For most of us, things have to get pretty BAD before we will even consider finding the energy or outside resources to change our lives. Most of us would rather blame anyone or anything else than ourselves for the mess we have made of our lives.
I know I had to hit a brick wall before I started changing everything. When you do hit that wall that tells you your life is so not working, find the time to sit alone for hours, days and even months thinking about what’s next.
I was 49 when my crisis hit, and so I focused on what I needed to have happen before I died. I spent my time challenging all of my previous beliefs about why I was here. I found very little meaning in what I had accomplished thus far, and so made a solemn commitment to doing everything in a different way.
First I prioritized what I wanted most in my life. My first priority was to find ways to believe in love again. I started my own dating service and met face-to-face with hundreds of other disillusioned midlife singles. We discussed ways we could begin again to believe that love was a good thing, after various versions of destructive divorces.
Through following my intuition and inner wisdom, I eventually met my true love and soul mate, whose love and loyalty was absolute. He believed in me enough to provide me with the financial and emotional support I needed to then change careers. I went from academic librarian to writer, author, and midlife psychology specialist around age 50.
Don’t sit around making more excuses! Decide what you need to happen now and start with small steps today!
Self-love, self-acceptance and self-respect are where all love comes from. Until we love and respect ourselves, we are not yet ready to give, receive or accept love from others.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to test your present level of self-love and self-respect:
Are you willing to accept there is much more to you than how you see yourself now? Who are you without your story, and without harsh self-judgment?
Can you accept that there is really nothing wrong with you right now?
Can you see yourself as whole and beautiful? Meditate on that thought.
Can you accept that you are exactly what you seek in others?
If you stopped finding fault in yourself, would your life improve?
Can you accept that perhaps the thing you are missing in your life may be your authentic self? What would it take to let the “real” you come out to play?
At what times do you feel most like the “real” you?
Ask and answer this question just for yourself: One way I could be even more authentic right now is ___________________________.
Show me the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful that is!
Try letting go of everything that keeps you in that sad place today.
It’s a brand new spring day! Are you ready to create new hopes and dreams?
Are you ready to BELIEVE in LOVE AGAIN and then find it?
YOU decide when you’re ready, and then start talking about your JOYS!
What fills you with joy today? The beautiful spring weather? The new flowers coming up? The birds singing so joyfully?
Go with that thought….
“In 100 pages, with an intriguing bibliography, this is a quick but comprehensive overview of our generation at this moment in the 21st century. Carter’s telling is at once realistic and optimistic—and her own story is living proof.
‘Why did I write this book?’ she asks in the prologue of this new book, and then answers with a quote from Joan Baez, a troubadour for our generation:
‘Action is the greatest antidote to despair.’
Carter never looks at our generation through rosy glasses. Her even-handed reporting and clear and compassionate writing help me understand the challenges and opportunities we all face. Thank you.” – Carrie Tuhy