How to find love again
Have you heard about the latest survey on those dating after age 50? Here’s the scoop:
According to over 2,000 50-65 year-old singles surveyed over the summer, the top three deal breakers are poor health, financial instability and unattractive partners. Poor health topped the list at 78%, followed by financial instability at 76%, and physical unattractiveness at 75%.
Another survey found among 50+ online daters, 71% are divorced, 80% have children and 99% are heterosexual.
There appears to be a half and half split among older daters on whether they would ever want to marry again, with 51% wanting to marry and 49% against it. Among women, 52% want to marry. Among men, 52% don’t.
What age of person do they prefer to date? Of all survey participants, most wanted to find someone the same age or 1-5 years younger than themselves, 15% wanted someone the same age, and 26% were looking for a partner 1-5 years younger. One-quarter of respondents didn’t care about age.
One 60-year-old observed: “There seems to be a break around age 63 or 64 that’s generational. What I’ve found is I don’t have as much in common with the people older than I am – everything from musical taste to activities to their view on the world.”
Debra Stevenson, 60, of Los Angeles, is divorced and unsure about marriage: “I’m looking for a partnership. If it ends up in marriage, that’s a possibility. I haven’t had the experience of a really good marriage and I’d like to have a chance to have a good relationship.”
I was pleased to watch this analysis of “pleasure” on CBS Sunday Morning recently.
Not surprisingly, most of our top pleasures, especially when we’re young, are related to the survival of our species: sleep, sex and food.
More surprising is the fact that if we think something is worth more, we tend to enjoy it much more, unlike our dogs. In other words, humans are much more open to the powerful persuasion of propaganda. That explains most of our wars and also the billions of dollars spent on advertising. Why do we respect our dogs so much? Because in some ways they are so much smarter than we are!
Some get enormous pleasure from spending money. I am not one of them. I have never based my life on gathering more money. Buying more things leaves me feeling empty and alone.
I decided back in my late 40s, when my future was looking pretty grim, that the experience that meant the most to me was to experience honest, genuine, unconditional love for once in this life. And no, it wasn’t about the sex.
It was about believing that genuine, selfless love does exist. It was about valuing another person’s presence in my life more than myself. It was about experiencing “LOVE” with a capital L.
I have found, what you focus on does grow. Spending the time to first search inside for my highest life priority and then putting that energy out into the universe, brought me what I was seeking.
Talk about the supreme surprise! After decades of finding only disappointment in love, I finally met someone who approached love the way I did, someone who valued loyalty and respect above all else, and someone who didn’t change their mind every so often and lose interest in loving me.
It’s a “through thick and thin” kind of thing with us now, and that is exactly what I was looking for.
Want to get the kind of love YOU want this time? Learn how with How to Believe In Love Again!
More than one third of recent marriages in the USA started online, according to a study out this week. It presents more evidence of just how much technology has taken hold of our love lives.
The research, based on a survey of more than 19,000 individuals who married between 2005 and 2012, also found relationships that began online are happier, and less likely to split up than those started offline.
These new findings, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, set the percentage of married couples who have met online at almost 35% — which gives us our first broad look at the overall percentage of new marriages resulting from online relationships. About 45% of couples met on dating sites; the rest met on online social networks, chat rooms, instant messaging or other online forums.
Sociologist Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University in Stanford, Calif., says the numbers seem “reasonable.”
In his own research, published last year in the American Sociological Review, Rosenfeld said that 22% of newly formed couples had met online, “but couples who meet online are more likely to progress to marriage than couples who meet in other ways.” His new analysis of nationally representative data found that of 926 unmarried couples followed from 2009 to 2011, those who met online were twice as likely to marry as those who met offline.
This was all true for my husband Mike and I. We met through Match.com at age 49, and are still happily married at 58!
Learn more about these studies over at USA Today!
OK, so here’s the scoop. We all want to think we are too smart to make the same mistakes as others when it comes to midlife. That’s your first mistake. Feeling uncertain about what’s next in your 40s is healthy and natural…
Head over to my Midlife Crisis Queen blog to learn more about how to negotiate midlife change successfully!
Self-love, self-acceptance and self-respect are where all love comes from. Until we love and respect ourselves, we are not yet ready to give, receive or accept love from others.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to test your present level of self-love and self-respect:
Are you willing to accept there is much more to you than how you see yourself now? Who are you without your story, and without harsh self-judgment?
Can you accept that there is really nothing wrong with you right now?
Can you see yourself as whole and beautiful? Meditate on that thought.
Can you accept that you are exactly what you seek in others?
If you stopped finding fault in yourself, would your life improve?
Can you accept that perhaps the thing you are missing in your life may be your authentic self? What would it take to let the “real” you come out to play?
At what times do you feel most like the “real” you?
Ask and answer this question just for yourself: One way I could be even more authentic right now is ___________________________.