Finding love again
Did you know there is a dating site for “Farmers Only”? Who knew? Their slogan: “One dating site that aims to help you find a date quickly, so you won’t have to wait until the cows come home.”
Loved this story about a woman farmer looking for love in all the right places! She started seeing/dating a dairy farmer who lived more than 3 hours away, and two years later they were married.
Once ridiculed as the last resort for losers, online dating has exploded in the past few years! Why? Because it works sometimes, like it did for me ten years ago!
Since dating sites first launched, the two biggest ones: Match.com and eHarmony — boast a combined 151 million users. And newer, niche sites are allowing people to weed through those numbers to find exactly what they’re seeking.
Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and ‘love expert’ I quoted often in my book says,
“Psychologists know that we tend to gravitate to people who are from the same socioeconomic background, same level of intelligence, same level of good looks, same religious and social values and somebody with the lifestyle that you’re used to.”
The best part was the male farmer’s response at the end of the CBS piece. When asked how he knew she was the one, he said “Because she kept coming back!”
That is often one of the most important factors in your love decision. Finding someone who thinks you are terrific can be the best kind of aphrodisiac!
Picture this: Divorced for four years, living on part-time wages, I walked into work one day and my boss tells me he’s canning me. This was my life ten years ago.
At age 48 I had not ever received a bad job evaluation, and I hadn’t gotten one on that job either! They were too lazy to do evals. They chose instead a surprise attack from my boss, one very unhappy man.
I spent months looking everywhere for another job, but there was no demand for librarians, especially those about to turn 50.
What did my absolutely irrational inner wisdom tell me to do? Start my own local offline dating service of course! And why not? I figured I needed a job AND a date!
I struggled with that one for a few months, watched “Risky Business” as instructed by my intuition, and finally went with the line: “Sometimes you have to say what the fuck and make your move!”
I surely had no idea what I was doing, but going with my rational mind hadn’t worked out so well… why not take a chance?
Come to find out, I attracted a number of very cool older women to my specialized service, but few truly cool men. The solution? Use the tools available, like Match.com (this was way back in 2004!) to attract some great dates for my cool women.
I put up a very broadly-worded profile and waited. One very kind fellow responded with the online title “Tall Guy.” We e-mailed once or twice, talked on the phone a bit, and since he lived only ten miles away, set up a date for Saturday.
The rest is history… marital bliss history that is! We spoke together for TEN HOURS on our first date, and that is exactly how I found the person I had been looking for my whole life!
I tell you this so you can see how listening to the sometimes irrational messages from your intuition or inner voice can lead you exactly where you want to be.
But first you must do your homework. Begin to focus on exactly what you desire most.
Before all of this came about, I spent months realizing that I didn’t particularly want to live the rest of my life without love. I found the courage to admit that one great love was all I really wanted, while still harboring plenty of doubt that love was in my future.
Only by switching from a shortage mentality to a positive belief in abundance, and then focusing like a laser on what I wanted most before I died, was I able to attract authentic love into my life.
ABUNDANCE is how we live in each moment. The choice to be open. The choice to entertain the possibility that we can have, create and attract what we truly want.
I learned far too late in life, that what I focus on grows!
Not always in the form that I expected, but these days I can usually manifest what I decide is a priority for me.
Why is this? Because focus leads to creativity. Finding the courage to make a solid commitment to any goal, focuses your mind and body. Because you have found a focus, your mind and body will now seek out solutions everywhere. Our minds are amazing that way!
This would suggest that if you cannot find the kind of love you seek now, you have not made the commitment necessary to achieve that goal. Why? Perhaps because you feel too disillusioned with love from past experiences.
We have all experienced abandonment and betrayal. It may be impossible to get through life without these experiences. But do you blame yourself for others’ betrayal? Did you screw up and drive that person away, or did they simply lose interest?
In most cases when love does not work out, it shouldn’t. See this as an opportunity to love yourself even more, because you are now ready to find someone SO MUCH BETTER FOR YOU!
Begin to focus on your best traits, your uniqueness and inner beauty. Appreciate how much you have to offer others.
What you focus on does grow, so grow great feelings about yourself TODAY! If you find you need some help in this department, go read: How To Believe In Love AGAIN!