I saw something silly but thought provoking on TV the other night. It got me thinking. The show suggested that women seek out men who are some combination of sensitive, but also dangerous.
So I got to thinking about all of the men I had ever been attracted to in my life, and this somehow rang true. Not that I’m proud of this fact, but men who were completely kind and sensitive were somehow scary to me, especially when I was younger. I felt somehow manipulated.
Of course I also avoided those who simply scared me! They seemed harmful to my health.
But there seemed to be some magical combination of sensitive, an interested and good listener who actually remembered what I said and seemed to care, with an edge of mystery or even a little danger, which attracted my interest. Now, at age 57, I wonder why that is.
In spite of my history of being attracted to men who do dangerous things, even I was surprised when, at age 49, I fell in love with a “motorcycle guy” … black leather jacket and all! Something about that macho image, created mostly by the media I’m sure, captured my imagination.
Just now I asked my “motorcycle guy,” after almost seven years of marriage, what he thought that whole danger thing was about. He said that only one woman had told him that she was attracted to him because of his dangerous image, and others had rejected him because he “wasn’t exciting enough.”
Now I see that this is quite a subtle and difficult edge to maintain for men. Be sensitive but not TOO sensitive. Be macho but don’t scare women away.
The fickled world we live in… I guess we all have to just be ourselves and hope for the best.