Again, that age old question emerges. I believe it depends completely on the man and woman, and how old they are.
Who can forget that scene from “When Harry Met Sally” when Billy Crystal answered an emphatic no to this question…”You pretty much want to nail them too!”
I believe in our forties and fifties things change. I always remember a comment from Gloria Steinem on this subject. To paraphrase, she said she felt somehow liberated when she found that her brain was no longer so focused on sex. She observed that she had extra brainpower for other thoughts and ideas now, and asked, how would she use this extra brain space?
Of course men and women can be friends! Some of the best relationships in life occur as we move into midlife. As our hormones change, so do we. Procreation takes a back seat to quality, and relationships deepen.
In my case, both my new husband and I agree that we met at just the right time in life (at age 50) for us to fully appreciate how similar we were in some essential personality traits. We are both quite perceptive, and perceive the world in very similar ways. We also think at about the same rate, a true bonus in relationships!
We are now mature enough to appreciate the many unique similarities in our temperaments, and to enjoy the qualities of comradery and friendship between us. This goes so far beyond sexual attraction!
In fact, I now believe the MOST you can ask from an important life-long committed relationship is this level of closeness, while also providing plenty of space for solitude. Quality time both together and alone becomes ever more important with age.
Learn more about finding mature love in my new book: How To Believe In Love Again!
Please share your thoughts on this topic!