If you WANT something you’ve never HAD before, you have to DO something you’ve never DONE before…
This is a lesson that took me FOREVER to learn!
How would I know how to find positive, caring love if I had never had it before? Obviously I was doing something wrong, but what? I found the problem was I had never learned how to trust myself or others properly.
But how do we learn these things when we’re 40 or 50 years old? First we must unlearn the bad lessons we have learned in our past.
As discussed in my recent book, How To Believe In Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust and Your Own Inner Wisdom, I interviewed hundreds of midlife singles and found that:
“most of us have a back story which strongly impacts how we see ourselves, and what we deserve when it comes to love. You know, those bad experiences from decades ago, when you felt so ashamed and rejected, and you knew that love was not for you…
Deep down in your unconscious, lurking quietly, you may have persistent and unfriendly voices which repeat over and over again to never, ever trust another again with your heart.
Sometimes it feels like a permanent certainty that you do not deserve to meet someone who has the potential to love you unconditionally. Or perhaps you feel like you have done everything you can to improve yourself, but everyone else seems damaged beyond repair.”
It is essential that each of us re-visit our abandonment or betrayal stories, and especially the lessons we think we have learned from them.
How has your perception of that story changed over the years? How about the deep shame you may feel from previous breakups? Do you need a reality check?
Does that old rejection story hold far more power than it should in your present world?
Here’s how to DO something different this time!
