Could you respond positively to this statement?
I have a circle of friends and family who love and appreciate me for exactly who I am, and not just for what I do for them.
This is a great place to start if you are trying to change how you relate to others. I speak from experience when I say, always trying to make yourself useful in relationships is a sad way to go through life. One day you will need to find the kind of love where others appreciate you for the wonderful person you are, and not just for what you can do for them.
I know it may feel very risky to change how you relate to others, and especially who you wish to be around now. But please consider honoring yourself enough and having enough self-respect to choose friends and lovers who just love being around you, no strings attached. Try getting beyond the selfless stance of “earning” friendship and feel worthy of it for once.
Remember: Codependents don’t make friends, they take hostages! And who wants to be like that?
