Whether married or single, take a moment to ask yourself this. I asked myself this often after I lost my marriage and then my job in my late 40s. I felt set adrift in a sea of loneliness, certain I would never date again, let alone marry. I could discern few positive qualities in myself. I felt like a complete loser.
But even if you are married now or you’ve been married for years, do you find yourself attractive? Lovable? A pleasant partner to be around? A good investment? Fun to be with? Interesting? However you might judge others who interest you romantically, that is how you should now look at yourself.
And if your honest answer is no, then it’s time to look deeper into the reasons why you wouldn’t choose you for a marriage partner. Are you excited about your life? your own future? What could you do to get excited again? What could you do to find yourself lovable and your life exciting again?
I just found this great post on finding your passion. It includes all the reasons we may choose to remain stuck in the irrelevant. I like the expression “distracting yourself with the unnecessary.” That’s how I felt until I lost my job, and then decided to take back control over my own life. That was when I slowly began to change everything.
First I changed my job by starting my own business. I felt a strong need to start a dating service. I figured I needed a job and a date! Hanging out with other cool older singles convinced me that I did still believe in love, so I went out and met a great new partner.
After that I hired a coach to help me stop denying my needs, and start embracing my full potential. She helped me feel my own strength and courage to change. She made a few suggestions and I then began to pursue freelance writing in 2006. Yes, it was very scary and I often feared that I might be crazy, but I felt the fear and did it anyway.
After a couple of years I could see writing was not going to work out for me. The pay was terrible with absolutely no job security. So I moved on. Today I’ve narrowed down my passions to coaching, speaking, writing books and editing. These have turned out to be a great combination for me.
Of these four, coaching is by far my favorite! Helping others who feel the way I felt back in 2005, see their full potential, believe in themselves again, and learn all that they could be, is pure magic!
I feel so honored to now be of assistance to those who feel lost.